15 Steps I Took to Successfully Reinvent Myself After Losing Everything

Just because everything in your life is running smoothly right now doesn’t mean that that’s going to last. You may dream of starting a new business. You could move across the country. You fall in and out of love. You lose a loved one.  

In other words, life happens and it completely turns your life upside down.

Around four years ago, it seemed like I was living the dream. I successfully sold my startup, had a guaranteed job for a year with a very large salary and was newly married. Little did I know that six months later I would  purchase a startup that lost every cent I owned. Overnight, I went from multi-millionaire to broke.

That experience taught me a lot about reinventing myself by adapting to change and rolling with the punches.

Related: How to Reinvent Yourself

If you’re in a situation where you have to reinvent yourself, here are 15 ways that can guide you through this transformative journey.

1. Do you really want to change?

There are times in our lives when we’re forced to reinvent ourselves. For example, when my business failed, I had no place to go but forward. Many business owners are in similar situations. I've found that if you don't want to change, you never will. In my circumstance, I didn't want my family on the street so I forced myself to adapt to the abrupt change.

2. Wake up early.

I was never a super early morning person. And, to be honest, I’m not the type of person who ready to tackle the day at 4 a.m. I have, however, made it a point to wake-up no later than 6:30 a.m. every day.

Once I started waking up earlier I discovered that I had more time to do activities that would make me a better person -- both professionally and personally. I find that nobody is up this early and I can get a lot more done. Especially at work.

3. Prioritize your tasks.

Reinventing yourself doesn’t happen overnight. Remember that hard work I mentioned earlier? That takes dedication and patience. To make the transformation run more smoothly, you should dedicate at least one hour per day towards achieving your goals. That means that you need to prioritize your goals and tasks by creating to-do-lists and time management tools so that you get the most out of your team so that you can focus on reinventing yourself.

4. Attach yourself to the right people.

In today’s interconnected world it’s easier than ever to network with people from all over the world. While people have associated social networking with meeting new friends and finding job opportunities, you can also connect with people who can change you for the better. Seth Godin uses the example of Shepard Fairey. The name may not be familiar, but you know his iconic poster of Barack Obama.

“The Internet helped it spread. The poster connected one supporter to another, became an icon, a freely shared ID badge and ultimately a parody. And in the center of the spread was the artist. While Fairey didn’t make a penny selling the image, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he connected, and that connection gave his art leverage. He’ll never need to look for work or revenue again. It will find him.”

5. Learn.

Whether if it’s reading or attending a workshop or webinar, find ways to enhance your knowledge. It will make you a more well-rounded individual and help you grow both personally and professionally. Lifelong learning also makes you more motivated, develop mental skills, and introduces you to new people and thoughts. I like to do this by reading books.

6. Find a mentor.

“Someone has to show you how to move and breathe,” writes James Altucher. There are types of mentors out there;

• Direct. The mentor is in front of you and will guide you.
• Indirect. These are mentors who aren’t physically with you, like authors.
• Everything is a mentor. Altucher states, “If you are a zero, and have passion for reinvention, then everything you look at will be a metaphor for what you want to do.”

If you have mentor that insists that you do things their way, that’s find. Learn it their way and then do it your way.

7. Don’t be afraid to experiment.

Try new things, experiment with fun projects. After I lost my business I started several different companies. I tried everything from being ablogger, running an agency to starting a payments company. Some were successful, others failures. What's truly important is that you aren't afraid to try. Do what you enjoy and this will help you figure it out while hopefully making some money in the process.

Related: Take These 25 Steps to Complete the Journey of Reinventing Yourself

8. Be honest with yourself -- and others.

You have to be honest with yourself and others along the path. I'm nota humble person. So when my business failed I didn't want to talk with anyone about it. Time to get over yourself. The more people know, the more they can help you. This is very true of yourself as well. Learn to be honest with yourself and face some of those fears.

9. Don’t justify your decision.

Speaking of honesty, if anyone questions your decision, be transparent with them. There’s a reason why you made the decision reinvent yourself and if you have facts and passion to back that up, their opinion shouldn’t prevent you from going forward. And, ultimately, they’re going to have to respect that.

10. Get out of your comfort zone.

We’re creatures of habit. But, breaking out your comfort zone forces you to have new experiences, meet new people, and learn something new.

Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, therapist and author of "Better Than Perfect"tells Entrepreneur, “Breaking your own mold can only make you stronger and more confident to reach higher levels in your professional and personal life.” Dr. Lombardo adds, “In order to be more creative, you have to try new things, see things in a new way, put pieces together in a new manner.”

11. Manage your finances.

Reinventing yourself won’t always be free. For example, if you want to change careers, you may have to take workshops or college courses. Because of that, it’s important that you create a budget and stick to it so that you have the funds to complete your transformation.

Here is my tip: take 20 percent of whatever you make and put it into the bank for a rainy day. I like to have at least 12 months personal runway sitting in the bank "cash" at all times. As entrepreneurs we make a lot of money some months and have other months where we don't make anything. Learn to manage your finances better on a variable income.

Related: Embrace Change: The 4 Skills Needed to Reinvent Yourself

12. Follow the 24-hour rule.

If you meet someone at a networking event, for example, you should follow-up with them within 24 hours to stay fresh in their minds and begin building a strong relationship. It’s also polite and frees up time since you aren’t letting your follow-up responses build-up into an unmanageable list.

13. Make new lists every day.

When you make lists everyday on the areas that you focus on you’ll notice that certain items will stick and others won’t. Instead of devoting your energy on areas that you’re not passionate about, you can dedicate that energy to achieving a goal that is attainable and desirable.

14. Take one step at a time.

Reinvention is a process that could take years. Don’t overwhelm yourself by getting consumed on the big picture. Take steps to accomplish your end goals. For example, if you want to get in better shape, than the first step would be going for a walk, the next step would be setting a schedule, then getting a gym membership and finally eating healthier. Take it one step at a time.

15. Accept failure.

You’re not going to pick-up a guitar and instantly be transformed into Jimi Hendrix. You’re going to fail a lot when attempting to play “Voodoo Child.” Reinvention takes hard work and patience.

Along the way you have to accept that you’re going to fail. Embrace it. Learn from it. And keep moving forward. Because you can do this.

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Your Loses Count For Nothing...

It’s not what you have lost that counts but what you’ve got left.

-           Bob Gass

Many people spend valuable time and energy that could be put into productive use, talking about what they were and/ or use to have some time back instead of looking for ways to better their lot at that particular point in time. They hold on tenaciously to their past and non- existent properties, resources or even successes that it hinders them from seeing right in front of their noses.

There is someone I know that is always referring to the days when he was a manager of a big Departmental Store and the amount of properties he had and I seriously used to wonder if the story was true considering his present predicament. I see no reason why one should get up there, fall down and want to remain down and only talking about when he used to be up. It seriously doesn’t make any sense to me.

People that engage in such hold- on- to- the- past attitude do so mainly for one reason; refusal to accept the reality on ground. They want to continue to live in a no- longer existent life. Such people find it hard to accept failure because they have a misconception about failing. And gosh, do they continue to fail!

“I get ‘am before no be property” is a saying in pidgin English meaning that whatever had been gotten and lost should not be counted, but only what is on ground. What is lost remains lost and should never be counted.

A father who had just lost a son will not write out ‘I had four children but one is dead’ when filling out Insurance form but will most definitely write, three children. That’s the way it should be with every other thing that is worth counting as possession. What you don’t have, you don’t count!

How To Self-talk And Increase Your Confidence And Success

  In his classic best selling book Think & Grow Rich, Napoleon
Hill says that whatever the man of mind can conceive and BELIEVE,
it can achieve. Hill emphasized throughout his book how important
faith and belief are in achieving any goal you set for yourself.

  So why is belief so important? Henry Ford said it best, "Whether
you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right!" In other
words, your level of belief affects your thoughts, decisions,
behavior and actions. It affects your attitude, the way you present
your ideas and the way you interact with others.

  When you are trying to achieve a goal, your level of belief can
become a self-fulfilling prophecy and make a big difference in the
results that you get.

  Let's say that you are going to talk to potential investors
about a project. If you believe it's not going to work and you
won't get funding, you are going to present your ideas in a much
different way than if you fully believe in your project and truly
believe you'll get the funding. The investors will likely pick up
on your attitude and that could make all the difference. So it
truly becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  So how can you build and develop your belief?

  One way is to use self-talk to make positive suggestions to
yourself (Napoleon Hill called it 'Autosuggestion') and mix them
with positive EMOTIONS and FEELINGS as you do it.

  Napoleon Hill was one of the pioneers in describing the
importance of mixing in positive emotions & feelings while using
affirmations, self-talk or visualization.

  Hill said that a mind that is full of positive emotions, or what
he called a positive mental attitude, provides an inviting home for
developing belief and faith. In the same way, a mind full of
negative emotions and attitudes is a toxic environment that
destroys belief and faith.

  In Think & Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill walks you through an
exercise to create a "goal statement" describing in detail what you
want to achieve and what you are going to give in return for it. He
then advises you to read your statement aloud twice daily, once in
the morning and once in the evening while you visualize and imagine
the goal you want to achieve. He also recommends mixing in positive
emotions and feelings as you do this.

  This 'autosuggestion' exercise is a very powerful way to build
belief and confidence and I would highly recommend it to help you
achieve your most important goals.

 Rodger Constandse

3 Ways to Increase Your Planning Skills, Stay Focused and Stop Procrastinating

The mark of the superior thinker is his or her ability to accurately predict the consequences of doing or not doing something while maintaining the ability to stay focused on the long term goal. The potential consequences of any task or activity are the key determinants of how important it really is to you and to your company. This way of evaluating the significance of a task is how you determine what your next priority really is.

Stop Procrastinating and Stay Focused
This law says that, “There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.”
When you run out of time and the consequences for non-completion of a key task or project can be really serious, you always seem to find the time to get it done, often at the very last minute. When you have no choice, when the consequences for non-completion are serious enough, you start early, you stay focused and you drive yourself to complete the job rather than to face the unpleasantness that would follow if you didn’t get it completed within the time limit.
Rule: “There will never be enough time to do everything you have to do.”
It has been estimated that the average person in business today, especially managers in the age of cutbacks, is working at 110% to 130% of capacity. And the jobs and responsibilities just keep piling up. Everyone has stacks of reading material they still have to go through. One study concluded recently that the average executive has 300-400 hours of reading and projects backlogged at home and at the office.
What this means is that you will never be caught up and planning skills are more crucial than ever.. All you can hope for is to stay focused and be on top of your most important responsibilities. The others will just have to wait.

Deadlines Are an Excuse
Many people say that they work better under the pressure of deadlines. Unfortunately, years of research indicate that this is seldom true.
It is much better to better your planning skills, and then build in a sizable buffer to compensate for unexpected delays and diversions. However much time you think a task will take, add on another 20% or more, or make a game of getting in done well in advance of the deadline. You will be amazed at how much more relaxed you are, and how much better a job you do when you stop procrastinating.

Increase Your Planning Skills
There are three questions that you can use on a regular basis to help you stay focused on getting your most important tasks completed on schedule. The first question is “What are my highest value activities?”
This is one of the most important questions you can ask and answer. What are your highest value activities?

First, think this through for yourself. Then, ask your boss. Ask your coworkers and subordinates. Ask your friends and family. Like focusing the lens of a camera, you must be crystal clear about your highest value activities before you begin work.

The second question you can ask continually is, “What can I and only I do, that if done well, will make a real difference?” This question comes from Peter Drucker, the management guru. It is one of the best of all questions for achieving personal effectiveness. What can you, and only you do, that if done well, can make a real difference?

Every hour of every day, you can ask yourself this question and there will be a specific answer. Your job is to use planning skills to be clear about the answer and then to start and work on this task before anything else.
The third question you can ask is “What is the most valuable use of my time, right now?”
This is the core question of time management. Answering this question correctly is the key to stop procrastinating and developing better planning skills. Every hour of every day, there is some task that is the most valuable use of your time at that moment. Your job is to ask yourself this question, over and over again, and to always be working on the answer to it, whatever it is.

Do first things first and second things not at all. As Goethe said, “The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.” The more accurate your answers to these questions, the easier it will be for you to set clear priorities, to stop procrastinating and to get started on that one activity that represents the most valuable use of your time.

My Mentor Writes Again,
That's Brian Tracy

Get Set For A New Year!

31st December, 2013-Time to take stock and check what things were achieved and short-comings faced during the course of the last 365 days.

Why and how were they achieved? The targets you failed to hit,examine them. What happened? For most people however,they started the year running but without a finish line so there will be difficulty measuring progress or failure. Imagine a football match between Arsenal FC and Chelsea FC played on a pitch without goal posts. Just imagine it. Frustrating right? When you set out without well-defined, clear-cut goals, frustration is all you will reap.

What plans do you have or have you made for 2014? I am not talking about the feebly declared so-called resolutions. I am speaking about well set GOALS! I guess most people do not even know how to start. here is how...

First and foremost,acknowledge God for keeping you and bringing you to another starting point. Go into yourself and ask self empowering questions like what do i truly want? Who or what do i want to be in the next so,so years? etc
Write them down and also write down the plans you will follow to achieve them,and place it where you will always see it.

NB: If you do not write them down,you will be embarking on an adventure in futility, they will be mere wishes and fantasies that are common to everyone. Go one step further. Set your goals and be committed to ensuring they are achieved.
2014 is right before you...Go into it and be FULFILLED!
Have a Joy Filled New Year!

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

When ever you come across someone that is mentally strong, you are sure to see that they possess the qualities listed below. Go through it and see if you fall into this group of people. 

1.    Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3.    Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace. It takes much practice to hone mental strength

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.

Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?

Culled from Forbes.com

What Are You Grateful For?

Most times we are so overwhelmed by the challenges we are passing through on a daily basis that we forget to stop and think and see those things that we should be grateful for. It seems everyone is involved in the complaint/worry game and we all fail to realise that things are not that bad for us.

When we complain and worry about things not working out in our lives, we tend to lose sight of those things that are happening, things we should be grateful for. To discover all those things you should be grateful for, just sit back and take a look at how the year has gone and you will see all that has happened to you.

When you look back, you will surely see things to be grateful for. I am sure you are aware of the people that are no more. There people will give so much to be alive today but it is unfortunate that they are no more. Is anything worth more than the gift of life that God has granted us the grace to enjoy? If this is the only thing we have, I am sure we all have so much to praise the Almighty for.

I can't begin to share all that God has done for me throughout the year but I am ALWAYS grateful whenever I look back. If there is anything I will forever be grateful for, it is the fact that apart from being alive, God is making my life count. He has used me to transform a lot of lives through this medium and on so many other platforms.

If this is all he has done for me, I don't know why I shouldn't be grateful to Him. I have always dreamt of being an impact maker and as it is true for all dreamers, God made my dream to come true and a lot of people are better off just by coming in contact with me or by visiting this life-transforming website.

Though the dream for this platform is still LARGE, but where I am is still commendable and I am sure I have a witness there. Looking at your own life, do you have a reason to praise the Lord? Do you have the reason to be grateful? It is when we are grateful that we receive more of what we want.

Gratitude is a principle that has being in existence for years and it is one that works wonder. So if you have always being focusing on things that have not being working, NOW is the time to shift your focus and look inward. NOW is the time to start thinking of those things that you need to be grateful for.
Today is a gratitude day and you must have a lot of reasons to be GRATEFUL! Testimony time... :)

By A Colleague
Adebola Oni
www.naijamotivation.com